“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude” - Zig Ziglar
Sharon: It was one of those conversations where everyone pauses for a second before answering.
Three of us at the barn after riding together, Jen, me, and Lisa Graham, another student of Jen’s. We were chatting as we often do and Jen asked a simple question: “What does confidence actually mean to you in the show pen?”
You’d think that would be an easy answer. It wasn’t.
Wanting to delve in to this further, we set up a Zoom call to discuss.
Lisa spoke first. She told a story about a show — one of those decisions that feels fine at the time. She got on a horse she didn’t really know, not a terrible decision, not exactly reckless. Just… a bit ahead of where she actually was
“I thought I’d be okay,” she said. That’s usually how those stories start, and it didn’t take long before things unravelled. The horse reacted, Lisa reacted.
And suddenly she wasn’t riding — she was trying to manage a situation.
The kind where your heart rate jumps, your body tightens, and your brain goes very, very quiet. “It could have gone badly,” she said.
I could relate to that – I remembered the time I didn’t know how the horse would be in the show pen, she went so fast and my saddle wasn’t tight enough so it probably looked like a trick ride.
We talk a lot about confidence in riding, we admire, chase it. We assume some riders just have it. But listening to Lisa’s story and relating my own, it was obvious: on both those occasions, it wasn’t confidence; it was overconfidence.
And the difference between the two? Preparation.
Jen said something that stuck us: “Confidence is something you do. It’s not something you have.”
It sounds simple. But when you really think about it, it changes everything.
Because most riders are waiting to feel confident before they act, instead of building it through what they do, ride after ride.
I’ve seen this myself, moments where I’ve felt completely calm — and ridden badly
And other moments where I’ve been nervous, aware, slightly on edge…
…and ridden well.
Because I was prepared. I knew what I’d do if something went wrong because I’d been there before — even if only in practice.
Lisa said it took her three years to feel a real shift.
Three years. Not three weeks, not a couple of lessons.
Three years of trying, adjusting, getting it wrong, getting it better.
That’s confidence building itself, it’s the process.
And then there’s the part we don’t talk about enough. Support. Your people at the show. Lisa described a moment at a competition several years ago where she felt completely alone, no one to check in with, no one to say, “You’re fine — ride your plan.”
And it shook her.
Since I’ve been with Jen, I’ve competed on my own, but I wasn’t actually alone, because I had preparation, I had repetition. And I had Jen’s voice in my head — on repeat!
By the end of the conversation, we landed somewhere simple:
Confidence isn’t a feeling, it’s not something you wake up with. It’s built, quietly, repeatedly, over time.
And the riders who look confident? They’re not guessing - they’re prepared.
And that’s what confidence actually looks like.
If you want to listen to the full conversation, it’s on YouTube: https://youtu.be/I_FXbYdt20s
-----------------
'From the Trainer's Eye articles written by Jen Jonas of Jonas Performance Horses and one of her students, Sharon Jones of Be A Better You Inc. Both Jen and Sharon are believers in continuous learning - if you're not learning you are not growing'